A few weeks ago we got news that Bailey's heart might be in the early stages of heart failure. A couple of weeks ago this fact was confirmed. I felt like I couldn't breathe when we were in the doctor's office. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell, I wanted to shrivel up in a ball. No matter how much you prepare yourself with knowledge, hearing the words doesn't get any easier. Early stages of heart failure...those words might as well have been daggers to my heart.
I of course had to keep my composure for Bailey's sake. If he saw me react, he would be afraid and I don't want my son to grow in fear, even though fear encompasses me at this time. I want him to enjoy life, enjoy what life has to offer for however long he has. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe in pessimism. I just know that our odds aren't that great and that we should really appreciate the time we have with him. That's a hard thing to do when it is your son. It is hard to accept that your son has such a serious health complication.
In the midst of all this, Ed deploys in a month. I can't believe it. I feel like someone sucker punched me. But I know I am surrounded by lots of love and support from my friends and my family. That is all that really matters now. I just hope that everything remains comfortable for Bailey.
So that's about it. I guess you can say I am still in shock. God bless you all for your prayers and concerns.
